wake up, rod

So this piece is in response to the prior assignment on elision. It's part impenetrable and part painfully simple, and for that I apologize. It's where I'm at right now. I've been writing and editing a lot but not 'finishing' anything because I haven't yet pulled on all the right threads. I'm frustrated with me. Am I up for an assignment any time soon or have I been ousted? [she animates] like you, I am most invincible when most invisible but. she is the helium in my head, can’t put her back in the bag. a fickle incandescence always in need of feeding, she sells indestructible to porcelain to all the pretty little pageant queens. believe it. like you, I am a white woman but. she says, keep the candy  palmed, but the trick is meant to be imperfect, I’m looking at you. you can’t suck on fealty to fill a sugar tooth. she boils me until I shimmer with blindness, my rubber, my mongrel mother, shame. the adroit simplicity is she makes believe.